During our life-changing journey that became the bestselling book Bowling Through India, it was somewhat ironic the Black Craps (as our five man cricket side was known) should end up playing cricket in a cemetery in Varanasi, otherwise known as the City of Life. The tombstones were used as stumps and a Catholic caretaker tried his best to keep games to a minimum – until we turned up. Thanks to The VC and photographer Brendon O’Hagan for providing this slideshow of our unforgettable match.
In my children’s novel ‘Shot, Boom, Score’ the main character (Toby) often visits his grandma in her second-hand shop named ‘Junk and Disorderly.’ The inspiration for this came from a nearby shoe repair store, whose owners told banks on either side to bugger off when they wanted to bowl its premises. The grandma in my novel finds herself in a similar situation as told by Toby in chapter two:
Today I went to visit my grandma. She owns a shop on the main street in the middle of town called ‘Junk and Disorderly’. It sells really old things, like paintings and chairs and tables you normally only see in old photos. But she’s also got cool stuff, like a wind-up monkey with wheels instead of feet, and lots of medals from the war. There’s a medal in a locked cabinet no one is allowed to touch, not even me. It’s a shiny gold five-pointed star with a red-and-blue ribbon. It has a ‘GRI’ written on it in big curly writing, and ‘The African Star’ in eeny-weeny writing. Grandma told me the medal is worth a lot of money. Every time I visit I go straight to that cabinet and look at the medal. It’s almost my favourite thing in the shop, apart from the pinball machine with lots of girls with no clothes on.
I’ll admit, I’ve never watched an episode of Home and Away but Ray Meagher who plays Alf Stewart joined us this morning – and he’s a flamin’ legend. Slightly hungover, maybe. Hilarious, definitely. 26 years on the show, this boy might have a future.
It was the accent that got me. Making a cuppa in the kitchen in-between songs on our radio show I heard the indecipherable voice of Sue Pollard (Peggy from Hi-de-Hi!). Check out the frog handbag. What a happy lady. Sadly, my excitement wasn’t matched by workmates ten years my junior. ‘It’s…you know…the lady in yellow from Hi-De-Hi!’
Looking forward to our radio show tomorrow. Artist Dick Frizzell explains the motivations and processes that went into the creation of the New Zealand Herald’s 150th birthday wrap cover. He’s always a good laugh – and way better at scribbling than I. Regardless, for you, Mr Frizzell, a Dick Pic.
New Zealand boxer David Tua has nine shots in his coffee every day. No harm done – you’d think. Until I tried it during our radio show. Never have I found ads I hear every day so hilarious. I was so exhausted after this episode I had to go home for a lie down.
I’m happy to say that two of my travel books are now available to read on your Kindle. UK on a G-string is a tale about door-to-door-busking (I only had one song) around the Motherland and trying to make enough money for a flight home. The US version is called One Man, 23 Beers and a Crazy Bet. Next on my bucket list was an attempt to play golf around the U.S with whoever featured on the front page of the newspaper. In Search of Swingers was the result: a terrifying, yet liberating, glorious failure, full of crazy characters and surprisingly, very little golf. For more info on these titles head to my website. Enjoy!
Recently I got my two girls (Sophie and Georgia) to read THE DOG THAT ATE THE BATHROOM. Just click on the cover to hear. I think they did a great job, though British accents weren’t part of the original plan. There were a lot of laughs. Maybe I should post the unedited version one day.