Myth New Zealand Archives - Page 9 of 13

I spoke to a great group at Stanley Bay Primary yesterday. As usual, kids this age (years 4,5 and 6) are full of life, energy and awkward questions. I told them about Malcolm McGarvy (the bully in my novel ‘Shot, Boom, Score!) who has a few tricks up his sleeve. One of which is the chicken made from a tea towel; the other is a penguin made from a banana.

The speech went well and Fiona and the team thanked me. When I jumped in the car to drive home I was sure I smelt something. Something sweet. Yet slightly rotten. Something…like the banana I used for my talk a month ago at Birkenhead Primary. (You’re just lucky this isn’t Smelevision.)

The idea for this e-book started out as a joke. My daughter (Sophie) and I were bored, so decided to think up ridiculous things. Once finished, she took the story to school and her class loved it, as did the teacher who passed it on to other classes. A few tweaks later we had a story. A few beers later I had an illustrator. And now you have the finished product.

No hoops to jump through. No questions to answer. No race to win. Just click on the cover (above) and my new junior novel (for 8-12 year olds) could be all yours. And I’ll even sign it for the special one in your household. Good luck. (PS. Only got till April 17th.)

This week I spoke at Birkenhead Primary School as part of their annual book week. What a cool bunch of kids. They even made me a throne.

As usual, the best part of these talks are the questions the author receives once their spiel is complete. In my case, reading from my new junior novel (Shot, Boom, Score!), performing some magic tricks and harassing them for liking One Direction. Or Beiber. Or Selena Gomez.

‘Any questions?’ I asked.

‘Yep. Would you rather be a duck or a goose?’

‘Um, a goose I think. They’re funnier.’

‘No! It’s a duck. Cos you can eat them!’

‘Ooo…kay. Any other questions?’

‘Have you ever thought of doing a book about a talking pie?’

(Should be noted this question came directly after I read them my soon-to-be-released e-book ‘The Dog That Ate The Bathroom.’)

‘Um, no I haven’t. Though that is an interesting idea.’

The kids lined up at the end to get something signed (mostly homework books) and I asked one of the boys what he might like to write about next.

‘A story about a pigeon with rabies and a dead man with jelly falling out of him.’

Damn, I thought when I drove off. Why didn’t I think of that?

Huh? You did! I said not to.

Ah well, seeing as you’re here you may as well have a look at some early reviews coming through for my junior novel ‘Shot, Boom, Score!’

The first is from School Library magazine (NZ Book Council). Buzzwords magazine encapsulate the plot perfectly, and here’s yours truly being interviewed in the New Zealand Woman’s Weekly. (Yes, that’s my writing room and yes, that’s E.T – waving not drowning – in the background.) Oh, and in case you’re wondering, here is the last page of the internet.

Did any of them have any idea what was about to happen?

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. This time Liam and Zayn from One Direction wanted to meet the author of Shot, Boom, Score! Anytime, boys.

Everyone’s favorite Canadian William Shatner pops into Auckland to track down author Justin Brown hoping to get a signed copy of his favorite junior novel ‘Shot, Boom, Score!’ [citation needed].

Justin Bieber pops into the Langham in Auckland to track down author Justin Brown hoping to get a signed copy of his favorite junior novel ‘Shot, Boom, Score!’ [citation needed].

A few weeks ago on our radio show we asked the question, can you beat a dog in a swimming race? This morning we wondered, can you piggyback a pig?

That’s our co-host Jason in the helmet, who drew the short straw and had to undertake the challenge. (I understand the need for gloves, but a helmet?)

Jam the pig was a good sport: calm, measured and happy. That is, until we got him out of his cage, when he squealed like a hungry baby in a wet nappy. With colic. The noise coming from Jam’s chops was simply unbearable.

Jason adjusted his helmet and dropped to his knees. He was ready, but Jam wasn’t. The noise abated once we put him back in his cage, where he munched happily on an apple. He was not distressed, nor upset. His was the equivalent of a toddler’s tantrum and we all fell for it.

So, unless you have a high tolerance of high pitched squealing, it is not possible to piggyback a pig? Or even get the little guy near your shoulders. Which leaves me with two questions. Why is it called a piggyback? And, if a piggyback is out of the question, how about a 100m sprint?

Justin Brown

There’s a funny smell in here

The Dog That Ate The Bathroom

Win an autographed copy of ‘Shot, Boom, Score!’

A pigeon with rabies and a dead man with jelly falling out of him

Boring post: do not click here

You won’t find a better Star Wars photo

One photo, One Direction, but that’s it!

One photo, William Shatner, but that’s it

One photo, Bieber, but that’s it

Is it possible to piggyback a pig?